


I say "Vol-", you say "sexual harassment"

by TabooMonster123



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Multi, POV Outsider, Post-War, Sexual Harassment, Social Media Fic, earth-fic, reddit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 04:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12027795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TabooMonster123/pseuds/TabooMonster123
Summary: One redditor’s encounter with Voltron’s triad.





	I say "Vol-", you say "sexual harassment"

**Author's Note:**

> This is, in theory, going to be a part of a series of social media outside pov fics regarding the paladins & co. and people who maybe should pay a little more attention to the news. I made this shklance and a/b/o, but this fic focuses on neither of those things, so if you're meh about them and are just here for a laugh, I think you'll be able to enjoy this all the same. :)
> 
> Special thanks to Aru and Lucifer for helping me edit.

Submitted to r/storytime by  **u/moltron** :

What is your best celebrity encounter story?

 

Top 200 comments sorted by best

 

**[-] u/over9kkeks** 2053 points 5 hours ago

I’m not sure if this counts as a celebrity story, per-se, but here goes.

There’s a hotel I frequent near Garrison HQ in DC that’s one of those places with crazy amenities meant for rich lobbyists and congresspeople. The last time I stayed was a few months ago, and as it was during a serious cold spell I decided, instead of museum hopping, to stay in and try out the gym.

Now you may think you’ve seen nice gyms but man, you’re dead wrong. This place took up an entire two floors in the hotel. It had an olympic pool, shooting ranges, an electronic archery range, yoga and dance studios, a race track around the perimeter, and an ungodly amount of workout equipment, all at my disposal. So, being the complete normie that I am, I decided to use a treadmill.

Now my usual method is to pick the least threatening person and make small talk, because running alone is  _ boring as shit, _ but the gym itself is basically empty and the only guy on the treadmills is a fucking terrifying looking alpha. He’s covered in scars and has a fucking  _ Galra-made arm, _ guys, I was scared out of my wits by this dude. Treadmill guy looks up, sees me staring, and smiles (thank god) and waves me over himself. Turns out to be super friendly, in town doing something he can’t talk about, sorry man, but it’s cool, and we’re both apparently semi-regulars to the area. We’re in the middle of complaining about the lack of food places on the Mall when this commotion starts in the nearby weightlifting area.

I turn around, and there’s this pair of omegas who are  _ very clearly a couple _ getting leered at by this literal  _ pack _ of alphas. My head’s immediately turning up red flags, and I turn to look at Treadmill guy, like,  _ should we do something? _ But Treadmill guy’s got this really knowing look on his face, and so I turn around and take a closer look.

The couple (whom I’ll refer to as Grumpy guy and Smiley guy) seem annoyed but not concerned about suddenly being surrounded by alpha brutes. They start asking the couple a bunch of the usual crap questions, like,  _ what’s your name beautiful, you live around here,  _ the usual, until one of them says, “You seem new, I can totally spot you.”

Grumpy guy raises an eyebrow and looks at Smiley, who says, “I was gonna go change anyway,” so Grumpy turns to the alpha and says, “sure.”

So Smiley guy heads off to the locker rooms and Grumpy leads the alphas to the bench press, which is closer to Treadmill guy and me.

Now at this point I’ve just been jogging, trying to get a good look at this whole thing, but Treadmill guy isn’t even  _ trying, _ he’s just standing there drinking water. Treadmill guy apparently gives  _ zero fucks _ whether these people see him staring. But Grumpy guy doesn’t look over at us and the alphas are apparently too wrapped up in him to care so we keep watching.

Grumpy stretches his arms and back out a bit and tells one of the pack dudes to grab him two 25 pound weights. Pack dude is like,  _ are you sure, isn’t that a bit heavy, don’t you wanna warm up, _ but Grumpy guy insists, so they shrug and grab him 50 pounds worth of weights. Grumpy leans back, waits until the weights have been put on, and then starts bench pressing. He does 10 reps, during which all of the alphas are whistling, catcalling, not even pretending to spot this guy, before Grumpy stops and asks for another 50 pounds.

The alphas, again, are like,  _ are you sure you wanna do that? _ And Grumpy guy says,  _ totally, _ and at this point they’re starting to look a little nervous, but I guess they didn’t want to lose him, so they went and got another 50 pounds of weights.

And this time Grumpy guy does fifteen reps, doesn’t break even a sheen let alone a sweat, and the alpha dudes are starting to get a bit confused. They’re still whooping and hollering, mind you, but there’s not as much of it.

And then Grumpy asks for another 50 pounds.

One of the alphas, some blond dumbass, tells him, “You really don’t wanna do that, sweetheart, that’ll be too much for you.”

“Watch me,” says Grumpy. And he gets up, grabs two  _ 50 _ pound weights, one in each hand, and puts them on himself.

Beside me, Treadmill guy starts full on giggling. I stop pretending to jog.

And Grumpy, true to form, lies down and does ten reps of 200 pounds.

There is complete and utter silence. The whole way through. The alphas look like they don’t know whether to fucking nut or piss themselves.

So Grumpy finishes his reps, wipes off approximately three sweatdrops with his shirt, and looks to be going to grab another two weights when Smiley guy comes back from the changing room. And guys, I’ll admit, I totally thought he was going to change into civvies when he left. But I should have realized how wrong that assumption was.

Smiley guy comes out wearing fucking  _ alien SWAT gear _ and about  _ 15 visible firearms. _ About half of which I can identify as either human or Galra-made. Seriously, he’s got every holster you can imagine with some kind of firearm in it, plus three sniper-rifle-looking things strapped across his back. When he passes me I can see he’s got more guns  _ strapped to the fucking rifles. _

Smiley guy walks straight up to Grumpy, ignoring the alpha pack who are definitely shitting themselves, hands him a knife and says, “Here, you left this.”

Grumpy takes the knife, which starts  _ fucking glowing, _ and asks, “Target practice, then?”

And I guess one of the pack alphas hadn’t completely lost his nerve yet, or something, because he asks Grumpy, “Do you need more spotting help?”

And Grumpy guy turns and looks him directly in the eye and says, “No, Lance is a better shot than me anyway,” right before he pulls his arm back and throws the knife clear across the gym, where it lands right in the archery bulls eye.

There is exactly one second of silence before Treadmill guy  _ completely loses it _ and, guys, I have never seen a pack of horny bruteish alphas retreat so quickly. I don’t think they even said goodbye, they just fuckin  _ ran, _ and if I hadn’t been so close to pissing myself out of terror then I definitely would have pissed myself laughing.

After he calms down a bit Treadmill guy takes me over to talk to the couple, except he introduces them as his  _ mates, _ which,  _ what, _ and explains that this kind of thing happens a lot to them. They apparently decided a while back that it was better to have the two omegas scare the living shit out of whatever asshole decided to hit on them rather than have Treadmill guy interfere. Smiley explained (while still smiling, which at this point was just completely terrifying) that it was a win-win for all of them: he and Grumpy got to show off, and Treadmill guy got to watch his mates be fucking badass.

So that’s the first part of this. The second part, the celebrity part, happened like this:

I get home three days after the gym episode. I greet my nice, normal, lovely beta wife, pick up my daughter from school, help with dinner, etc. I put the kid to bed, pull up a seat next to my wife on the couch, and turn on the news.

And there they are. In full Paladin armor, right on the flatscreen in front of me, stand all three of them, plus the Green and Yellow Paladins.

And that’s the story of how I saw two fifths of Voltron completely annihilate a bunch of asshole alphas while another one watched it next to me and laughed his ass off.   
  


Load comments (2,308 replies)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to drop me a comment if you liked it :) concrit accepted!


End file.
